Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Three Unrelated Things.

(Four if you include the photo)

Vermilion Triptych, originally uploaded by Dave Gorman.

Thing One:
While listening to a Radio 5 Live late night phone in you are never very far away from hearing the old, "It's political correctness gone mad" phrase trotted out in all its meaningless glory. But a couple of nights ago, someone managed to trump it.

Here are the words that fell from the rabid lips of one angry caller:
"It's not just political correctness gone mad, it's political correctness gone insane if you ask me."

Further comment is futile.

Thing Two:

On Channel 5's early evening news they ended the bulletin with their "light hearted story." It was about a Florida man, Arnim Ramdass, who won the lottery but didn't tell his wife, Donna. He turned off the TV and disconnected the phone to keep her from finding out about it. She got suspicious. Then she found a postcard about a house he'd purchased and got even more suspicious. She googled his name and discovered that he'd won the lottery. He then disappeared.

The report (here's the story, as covered on a Fox News website) should have ended with her saying, "I still care about him, but I want justice." But it didn't because there was a short snippet of voice over to end the piece. The reporter adopted a world weary cynical tone of voice and capped Donna's plea for justice with, "... and money Donna, justice and money."

What a strange thing for a reporter to do? Adding her opinion to a news story? But also, what a dimwitted opinion. Surely, in this instance, justice is money. Of course she wants her share of the money. For richer, for poorer and all that. Surely when she said she wanted justice she meant exactly that; that she wanted her share of the money. How dare you pretend to be upset about your husband leaving you, deceiving you, lying to you and humiliating you... you're not really upset are you Donna, you just want money. Tch. Some people.

But it gets worse. Because when the report ended and they returned to the studio a smiling John Suchet sat on his sofa and chipped in with, "I think I'm with him on this one..."

So that's John Suchet saying, "yep, if she was my wife I'd have done a runner with the money as well, eh lads?" Yeah... why would anyone with 600 grand in the bank want to stay with that angry woman eh? Come on, we'd all do it.

Further comment is futile.

Thing Three:
I wasn't just lazing in front of the TV by the way. I was working and the TV was on in the background, sort of keeping me company. Countdown is perfect for that kind of thing. It's as if my Mum is in the kitchen nattering to a friend. Isn't Des bright as a button? Anyway, I suddenly realised that the voice in dictionary corner wasn't that of Suzie Dent. It's been a while since I saw the show but I'm pretty sure that last time I looked, Denty was quite heavily pregnant. I'm assuming she's off having a baby. Well done Suzie Dent. Anyway, having realised that she was missing, curiosity made me look up to see who was there in her stead. At which point I fell ever so slightly in love. Alison Heard, apparently. In Dictionary Corner. I love dictionaries. And corners.

Further comment is futile.


Anonymous said...

May I be so bold to add a Thing Five?

Tomorrow is "No Music Day"..


Should further comments be futile?

Anonymous said...

surely that would become thing four, and the photo would be shunted to thing five status?

Ian : Geek said...

"Tomorrow is 'No Music Day'..."

Oh that crazy Bill Drummond and his conceptual artistic projects. He's a right sort, innee?

Although that one he did with Tammy Wynette when he was KLF-ing was rather fun.

Anonymous said...

Hi Keith.. Thing Four, I'm sure, was the Vermilion Triptych picture...

I have definately forsaken "No Music Day". B*((*^ks to that. What would St Cecilia say? (the patron saint of musicians) I believe that's why Mr Drummand picked today (21st Nov) being the day before her feast day.

You will find me mostly singing along to..

Cecilia, stop playing your harp*,
you're making the scottish man crazy
Oh Cecilia, can't listen to Squeeze
or Three Degrees, on your phone
On your phone....

*Though I do believe she played the flute and the violin yet that wouldn't have fitted in with my singalong :)

Jack Sheehan said...

You're dead right dave, Countdown i brilliant. My question is how does Carol Voderman look so good at 46?

Anonymous said...

She looks so good because she sold her sold to those debt consolidation vultures!!

Carlos x

Anonymous said...

Is the picture a homage to the magnificent Makka Pakka from In The Night Garden?

Anonymous said...

"Well done Suzie Dent." Eh? Well done for getting pregnant. It's not so difficult an achievement that it deserves praise, believe me. Just take a stroll round any council estate. Will you be saying, "Well done" to all those Croydon facelift girls?