For this tour, I had a cunning plan.
I put in a call to Kate Bush.
"Kate," I said, "it's been a while since your last live gig hasn't it?"
"Thirty five years," she replied.
"Really! That long! Blimey. You should get back out there. Do some more."
"Well, I've thought about it Dave," said Kate Bush, katebushily, "but I always get so bored before a show. I just don't know what to do with myself."
"Oh, we all get that," I said, trying to jolly her into it.
There was a pause.
"Is it true that you have a dartboard that straps on to the back of a door?" she asked.
"Yes," I said. I could hear her resistance breaking down.
"And is it true that when you're on tour, you take it with you and play darts for an hour before the shows?"
"Um... can I borrow it?"
"Of course you can!" I said. "Do you want to borrow some darts as well?"
"Don't be daft," she squeaked. "I've got my own arrers!"
So that was part one of my plan accomplished. Persuade Kate Bush to go back to live performance.
I knew she'd choose the Apollo in Hammersmith, the scene of her last gig in 1979. That was crucial. Because that's also one of the venues on my tour.
And of course I knew there'd be a huge amount of attention given over to Kate Bush performing again. Her tickets would go in a flash. Her first night would be a huge event. The world would talk about little else for one day. There would be TV cameras outside the venue, interviewing punters before and after.
I just needed to make sure the electronic billboards outside the venue were timed right. They were. Here I am on the BBC website:
It was clearly seen by a lot of people on various reports. Tweets started arriving about it last night and have continued this morning. As you can see, it was on the box at 8.11 am:
@DaveGorman bit of free advertising on BBC this morning Dave. (That's not me btw!) pic.twitter.com/hoe4nogcXGand again at 8.33:
— Matt Phipps (@ElCarrot) August 27, 2014
Shameless bandwagon jumping by @DaveGorman during BBC interviews of Kate Bush fans at 1st gig...tkts still on sale? pic.twitter.com/yWcFa6P6E2
— DenNY (@Denbarry1) August 27, 2014
If only my plans to get B*witched to promote my book launch had gone as well...