Wednesday, September 30, 2020

The Homes Under The Hammer Crossword The World Needs Right Now

Yesterday's Independent cryptic crossword contained something of a tribute to one of my favourite TV shows... Homes Under The Hammer...

Before I go any further, I ought to say that this post is obviously going to contain spoilers. If you like cryptic crosswords and you think you might like to try this one... you can it's here.
 

Whenever I mention that I've set a crossword I get quite a few people expressing their surprise. I'm not surprised that they're surprised. I know it's an odd career turn. For what it's worth, I blogged about it a few weeks ago here. Anyway, seeing as some of the people reading this won't know that I'm a setter of crosswords, it's probably worth me clarifying that this isn't a post about something I spotted, so much as something I've done. I set crosswords for the Indy under the name Bluth.


Now... back to yesterday's crossword.
Using a couple of clues to get the title of the show in wasn't enough... if you're going to mention Homes Under The Hammer, I think you've got to mention the main man, Martin Roberts. But how best to describe him... I think this does the job...



But if you're mentioning one of the presenters... surely the others deserve a mention as well!

 

What about Dion Dublin and Martel Maxwell?

Don't worry... I had them covered too...



At which point, I know what you're thinking.

Yes. I have got too much time on my hands.

But also. What about Lucy Alexander?


She co-presented the show with Martin for 13 years before her connection with the series was brought to an untimely end due to... um... advertising carpets.


Well... there's a clue to explain that...






 Of course, it's impossible to think about Homes Under The Hammer without thinking about the show's incredible Literal Music Selection...

I might well have mentioned it once or twice before now myself...




So, obviously that had to be in the crossword too...


What more could I add? Well... a sprinkling of other clues that relate to the show... I'm sure there was an episode where they showed an ugly new-build making money in between some short VTs about a motel...


There must have been a few episodes where a couple have fallen out because one of them bought a property without seeing it - always read the legal pack! And when they knock through, well, there's always a bit of rubble...



Of course, they feature all the big auctioneers on HUTH.

I mean, yeah, they're normally called Graham, but in the world of property auctioneering, I'm pretty sure these guys represent the big league...

And they auction all sorts of properties... and some people buy because their heart is set on a particular location and, of course, they get renovated in all sorts of styles...



Of course, some of you won't be familiar with the show... but I'm sure you'll agree that the...



Anyway... if you're the kind of person who is interested in cryptic crosswords but is put off by the lack of content relating to daytime TV property shows, this was all for you.

Or maybe the bit of the Venn diagram showing people who are interested in cryptic crosswords and HUTH has only one occupant... in which case this was all for me.

 
 

7 comments:

FameAsser said...

This is absolutely brilliant! How long did it take you to come up with it?

FameAsser said...

This is absolutely brilliant! How long did it take you to come up with it?

Dave Gorman said...

@FameAsser - a) thank you, and b) I don't honestly know. There isn't an obvious start and end time. A few days for sure.

Martin said...

Excellent work!

I trust you have seen Martin Roberts' invisible piano, with added piano music, here?

David said...

Very good indeed. Would you advise looking up at different parts of the ceiling whilst trying to figure out the answers?

Smylers said...

Thank you — both for creating the crossword, and for explaining the theme. I love that with “Lucy's cut short” you've conjured up a clue which has a surface meaning which is on-theme and true. (At least, I presume it's true: I haven't seen the programme and hadn't heard of her until you mentioned her.)

When submitting the crossword, did you tell your editor it had a ghost theme, or just submit it as an ostensibly unthemed crossword? And if the latter, did the editor spot the theme before publication? Thanks.

Dave Gorman said...

@Martin I have indeed seen Martin Roberts invisible piano. It's been sent to me about 500 times and counting!

@Smylers Thanks. I didn't sneak it past the editor. I sent it to him with a full explanation!