Vision

When I was about twelve, I think I quite fancied the idea of wearing glasses. I thought they would suit me in the same way that I thought chess might be a suitable pastime for me. Learning to play chess properly was far too much hassle so I didn't bother but I did try to throw an eye test. The optician was having none of it and pronounced my vision to be 20/20 and I remained specless. Of course with the benefit of hindsight (which is also 20/20) I'm glad about that. What a self-conscious tit I was.

Ten or more years ago I had another eye test and was again told that I had 20/20 vision. I was also told that I had unusually strong eyelids... if only eyelid wrestling was a competitive sport the 26 year old me might have fulfilled his Olympic dreams. Heigh ho.

I didn't have another eye-test for years, my next being three or four years ago. I'm not sure it really counts as there was no optician present and I was in a New York bar at the time. It started when I read aloud a sign on the far wall that must have amused or confused me in some way. None of my companions believed I was really reading it. They assumed I'd read it in passing on a trip to the gents and was now pretending to read it. I insisted that I was really reading it and they proceeded to quiz me, asking me to read different bits of text that were dotted about the bar. I named obscure brands of spirits, read healthcode signs and vintage adverts and my vision was declared 23/20 - which is much better than 20/20 and makes me special although, like I say, there wasn't an optician present.

Recently I've been finding writing harder than normal. My concentration wanders and headaches have been more frequent. You know where this is going. I am now a glasses wearer. I had a test last week and have discovered that I am ever so slightly long sighted. I have glasses for reading only. ("You won't need them to look at a menu but if you're reading for an hour or so or working on a computer they'll make life more comfortable.") The twelve year old me would be delighted. The thirty six year old me is everso slightly pissed off.

In other news I played my best poker a couple of days ago. It was online which is very sad of me but there you go. I entered a $5 tournament and so did 367 others. With some good play and three amazing moments of good fortune I won it. I won just shy of $460 which at the current exchange rate is... oo... 11p. I'm sure that over all time my poker account would be in the red but I will use this moment of victory to convince myself otherwise. Self-delusion is the key to happy gambling.

The tournament lasted around 4 hours. That's a long time to look at a computer screen. I hadn't yet taken delivery of my specs and so ended the day with a horrible headache. Still, poker is cooler than chess isn't it? Isn't it?

Oh, by the way, the second series of Annually Retentive starts a six week run on BBC3 this coming Monday.