Do you want a GORSCREEN?

So, the series launched last night and I've been completely blown away by how positive the reaction has been. Thanks everyone. If you didn't catch the show and want to, there's a repeat at 10.40 tonight (Wednesday) and another on Saturday night at 11. And I think it can be viewed on demand on the Dave website for a few days too.

If you haven't seen it, I don't think there's anything that will be spoiled by showing you this picture from the show, featuring the, er... GORSCREEN.

I mentioned on Twitter last night that the props department had given me the GORSCREEN frame after the show and that I might give it away in a competition if people were interested... and some people do seem to be. So I guess I ought to work out a way of doing so.

Sometimes when I see someone running a competition on Twitter (RT this/use this hashtag/that sort of thing) I think it can be a way of encouraging people to spam their followers by filling their timeline with things and I definitely don't want to do that. Nor do I want to do anything that people might mistake for that. And besides, I don't want to exclude people who might follow me on facebook but not on Twitter... or for that matter anyone who does neither of the above.

I also have to think of a way of actually picking a winner. So what I've arrived at is this: a competition for members of my mailing list.

On Monday, I'll email my mailing list a question about episode two in the series.
There'll be a special email address you can send the answers to. On Friday I'll pick a random email from amongst all the right answers. And then I'll send them the GORSCREEN frame. (To be really clear... it's a wooden frame that has a space where you can mount an ipad. Or at least that's what we hung in it. I don't own an ipad. So it really is just the frame. But, y'know... it's quite nicely made!)

Hey, as it's a competition I suppose I ought to have some terms and conditions. Ha ha. Here we go:
To enter the competition, you have to be on my mailing list. I don't want that to put people off. I promise I don't send out loads of emails. I only really use it to let people know when I've got new things happening and I don't store the addresses on my own computer or anything like that. Realistically, I'd rather a prop from the show went to someone who was interested in what I'm doing next than someone who just saw a retweet from their mate one afternoon and sent a reply. That said, it's easy to join and just as easy to leave too. I won't even know you've done it. You can subscribe - or unsubscribe - on this page of my website.

Only one entry per person. Let's not be silly.

If you think you've signed up to the mailing list but the email with the question doesn't turn up... I can't be held responsible for it. I will send the email. Check your spam folder. Did you confirm your subscription? etc etc etc. If an email address bounces back to the list a few times it can end up being deleted from the list also.



Er... well, that should do it. Y'know, allowing for common sense and all that. If you think I've missed anything out, leave a comment on the blog and I'll try and keep on top of it all. (Oo... oo... I know. These terms and conditions are subject to change etc etc etc... they always say that, don't they?)

I really am hugely chuffed by the response to the show, and I hope people will enjoy the other five shows too. If there are other props, objects, souvenirs or what have you that I can think of from those shows... maybe I'll do this again with other, um, prizes.

Big thanks to everyone who tweeted, facebooked and emailed kind words. You're lovely you are.

This Isn't A Humble Brag

... it's a brag brag.

I don't really understand the idea that you'd make a show and then not want people to watch it or coolly not mention it and just hope that people find out about it somehow.

This was in The Times yesterday... on Tuesday's TV page.

I expect the first line will be used as a pull quote.

That said, it occurs to me that you could have those two qualities in equal measure by having none of either as well, but I don't think that's what he means.

At least I hope it isn't.

Have I mentioned the show's on Dave at 10pm on Tuesday?

Answering The Tattoo Question That I'm Asked Daily...

I hadn't really worked out what Vine was for before now... but this seemed as good a way to use it as anything else...

Pssst: the sound toggles on/off in the top left hand corner

Passing Messages On Is Important

This is one of the trails for my new series that are currently being shown on Dave and other UKTV channels. There are four in total - well, more if you count the short and long versions - but there are four set ups. I can always tell when one's gone out because I get a few tweets from people. So far they've all been lovely and it's especially pleasing when someone's been caught out for a second and thought they were watching a real ad.

But, while I'm obviously keen to pass on the message that the series starts on Tuesday, September 17th, that's not the message I'm referring to in the title of this post.

Before we filmed these, there were various meetings in which the details were finalised. There was one script for this trail where it described the model as being "in a bikini". I always feel uncomfortable watching comics do "ironic" things that involve "totty". There has to be a really good justification for someone being a state of undress or it just looks like an old man has come up with a feeble excuse to hang around with someone youthful and nearly naked. So I said as much, and everyone agreed that a towel would be more appropriate. If anything it accentuates the difference between the glamour of the close up shot used for the "ad" and the prosaic reality you see when I've, um, "interrupted".

So the script was changed. And that's the message that should have been passed on. Because someone, somewhere had the job of casting these ads. And they had to meet various, young actresses. And they were still working from a script that involved an actress in a bikini. Because nobody had passed on the message. If you're casting someone for a gig that involves wearing a bikini, it makes sense that you have to see them in their bikini. Or their underwear. Or whatever. And so, apparently, that's what happened. With various potential-shampoo-ad-models.

I wasn't there. I've never even met the person responsible for the casting. But the women involved must be thinking he was a right old perv. Especially, Ashleigh who got the gig. Imagine doing a casting where you're asked to strip down to your skimpies, getting the gig and then discovering that it was completely unnecessary and not required for the part!

My apologies to all concerned. The casting director wasn't a perv. Or at least, if he is it's a coincidence. It's just that the message didn't get passed on.

Dave On Dave Action, Coming Soon.

I'm delighted to announce that my new series, Modern Life Is Goodish, will be on the telly soon. It launches on DAVE on Tuesday, September 17th at 10pm and runs in that slot for six weeks. I hope you'll be able to tune in.

This is what the press release says:

Dave Gorman thinks modern life is good...ish. However, tired of endlessly being sold stuff he doesn't need, feeling manipulated by the media and harassed by technology, he’s become slightly obsessive about the 'ish'.

But instead of letting it drive him mad he's decided to fight back. A bit. Sort of. Ish. So he’ll be sharing his observations and venting his frustrations in six mischievous shows for Dave. Presented using his own unique blend of stand-up and documentary comedy, expect a whole new take on the things we normally take for granted.

Whether it’s idiocy on the internet, ill-thought-out technological solutions, unquestioned advertising logic, online ‘news’, one-click agreements to pages of terms and conditions, the cult of celebrity, Lord Sugar, the new Blister Pack Economy, or even (somewhat distressingly) discovering exactly where on the A-Z lists of fame he resides, Dave does what we don't: he stops and actually looks at things. And asks questions. And judging by some of the things he discovers, perhaps the people churning this stuff out ought to stop and look at what they're doing from time to time too. Because there's a hell of a lot of it that makes no sense at all.

The new series is loosely based on Dave Gorman’s internationally critically acclaimed live show, Powerpoint Presentation, which went on a three-time-extended nationwide tour of the UK including multiple London dates at the Hammersmith Apollo and the Queen Elizabeth Hall at the Southbank Centre.

Join Dave, on Dave, for a journey of intellectual curiosity and a healthy amount of humour as he holds up a mirror to the countless questionable things we’re all exposed to but just seem to accept as ok.

And that's nice.

Putting A Name To The Face

I travelled into town yesterday, for the first time in a while, and this poster was all over the tube.

Now I know that the order in which the names appear on the poster is all to do with egos, star billing, and all sorts of important negotiations but every time I see a poster like this, with the cast lined up but with the wrong names floating above their heads I just think it looks like someone's done really badly in a pub quiz.

It just looks like the people responsible for marketing the film don't know which actor is which. And they're really bad at guessing. Someone should just take each of them aside and have a word. "Look, Bruce. I know you've got star billing and that means your name has to come first and all that... but because you're the star, we also want you in the middle of the poster and it's making us look a bit, y'know... stupid..."

It's obviously a composite photo - which explains why it appears with the stars in a slightly different order in other versions... like this one...

... where they've accidentally scored one out of seven by placing Mary-Louise Parker underneath her own name. In this one they also give Anthony Hopkins a completely different head. But no handcuffs.

It may be something to do with the way the poster has been  pasted on to the curved wall of a tube station, but the faces look pretty badly photoshopped too.

I mean, those do look like Bruce Willis's features, and it does appear to be his head... but I'm not convinced they're lined up with one another as they are in the real world.

It looks to me as if his features have been dropped in just a little too low and to the left.

Either that or he's had one of those rare Hollywood face-drops people are never going on about.

And as to Catherine Zeta Jones... well, the last time I saw a head meet a neck like that I was playing Cluedo.

So... knowing that the marketing team for Red 2 aren't averse to a bit of shonky photoshopping, I corrected the whole poster and put the right faces with the right names. I'm only trying to help.

Angela Lansbury Forever

Murder She Wrote Tattoo, originally uploaded by Dave Gorman.

On Saturday morning I saw this tattoo on a man's leg.

I have a regrettable tattoo on my left arm. I used to feel haunted by it. Nowadays I rarely give it much thought. But on Saturday morning I spent a few moments thinking, "it could be worse... I could have a tattoo of Angela Lansbury from Murder She Wrote on my leg."